


Summer, cellphones and fans

by Ribes, theicedragon



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fans, M/M, Multi, grantaire is into sm but we already knew, marius has freckles, partial textfic, so many fans, this summer is so hot I could die, translated from italian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 11:51:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11417364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ribes/pseuds/Ribes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/theicedragon/pseuds/theicedragon
Summary: So basically it's a hot summer and Bahorel is stuck in bed, so he asks his friends for help. They don't help at all.





	Summer, cellphones and fans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ribes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ribes/gifts).



It was hot. Not the normal, suffocating type of hot in the middle of August, no – it was more like the hot of a scorching circle in the center of Hell. During a sand storm. Inside a fired up house. While someone was having a barbecue.  
Bahorel had woken up right in that kind of hot, glued to the bedspread and with his girlfriend’s tiny, but still very boiling body; at least she had had the decency to keep her long, blond locks inside a bun. Sadly, this praiseworthy detail had been vanished by the fact that his lady had wrapped herself around his body, leaving him just about the freedom to grab his cellphone.  
Moving so silently he felt all of the ninja from Naruto were going to envy him – the damned girl had an extremely light sleep – he picked it up and called for help from the only person in the world with a degree in law whom he knew.

[18/8, 10:05] Bahorel:  
Is it legitimate defense if I push Lise out of our bed so I don’t die of suffocation?  
[18/8, 10:07] Frecklesinlove:  
No.  
[18/8, 10:07] Bahorel:  
How the hell do you and Cosette manage?  
[18/8, 10:08] Frecklesinlove:  
We have an agreement. If one grips the other, then that other is allowed to start kicking.

Bahorel mentally cursed – an agreement would have been perfect, it would’ve spared him the internal conflict that was fighting between love and survival instinct. The smartphone screen stated that the temperature was about 32°, and the time was only ten in the morning. He definitely had to remind himself to promote awareness towards the greenhouse effect, even though they should’ve collected money for a fan: the back corner of the Musain was the abject version of a sauna.

[18/8, 10:14] Bahorel  
Is it legitimate defense if I push Lise out of our bed so I don’t die of suffocation?  
[18/8, 10:18] FAAAAALLING!  
You know that they threw me out of law major, right?  
[18/8, 10:18] FAAAAALLING!  
Anyway – no.  
[18/8, 10:19] Bahorel  
Only because you saved Marius’ ass. How do you live with two other people in your own bed?  
[18/8, 10:20] FAAAAALLING!  
We have a fan.  
[18/8, 10:21] Bahorel  
You filthy wealthy people.  
[18/8, 10:21] Bahorel  
Anyway, tell your girlfriend to call my telephone, because it’s her fault if my girlfriend hasn’t slept in three days.

He got no response and remained in deep sufferance. The wicked girl was even sweet when she slept, she didn’t snort, she stayed still; she probably had thrown herself on him when she had gone to bed, who knows at what hour. Since weeks, Lise had been working on Musichetta’s wedding dress, but in the last few days she had started to stitch it and was so inspired she could stop only to eat. She went to sleep at indecent hours – and Bahorel was worried. Only for that sole reason he wasn’t sure about waking her up; in normal times, he would’ve taken her by force and moved her away, ignoring any eventual protests.  
In addition to this entire situation, since his dear friend Bossuet taught that it can always be worse, Lise’s hand was way too close to his lower places and this didn’t help in reducing his morning erection. It actually started getting annoying.

[18/8, 10:35] Bahorel  
How do you manage when you get a boner in front of the Big Boss?  
[18/8, 10:37] Capital R  
Ideally or...?  
[18/8, 10:37] Bahorel  
1\. Keep your sadomasochistic dreams for yourself  
2\. Realistically  
[18/8, 10:37] Capital R  
1\. How do you know about the SM  
2\. Either I make Ikea really proud*, or I think about Eponine naked. Because if I thought about her naked and I got a boner, she would know and she would come to kill me.  
[18/8, 10:38] Bahorel  
Always thought that for you the less attractive was Feuilly.  
[18/8, 10:38] Capital R  
You joking? Feuilly is hot.  
[18/8, 10:38] Bahorel  
How right you are.  
[18/8, 10:39] Capital R  
Anyway, can’t you just ask the Laughing Mistress?  
[18/8, 10:40] Bahorel  
Your nicknames really suck, R.  
[18/8, 10:40] Bahorel  
And – no, she’s sleeping. On me. We shall find out if I’m going to perish of suffocation or frustration.  
[18/8, 10:40] Capital R  
Alas, man who does not appreciate his own fortunes!  
[18/8, 10:41] Bahorel  
Look, imagine if you had Enjolras’ seventy kilograms blocking you in a room without fan!  
[18/8, 10:52] Bahorel  
Please tell me you haven’t gone to make Ikea really proud.  
[18/8, 10:54] Capital R  
…ingen**?

«Holy shit, Grantaire!» he shouted, throwing his phone on the floor. Sadly, the shout had been too loud, because the shapeless mass that was covering him moved and turned back into a person, who looked at him slightly irritated.  
«Why are you screaming in the morning, ‘Rel? You don’t scream in the morning.»  
«R has sent me messages about his unchaste thoughts.»  
«Oh. Do you want us to take revenge?»  
«No, sleep. I’m waking you up when it’s one in the afternoon.»  
«Okay.» Lise closed her eyes again, but she opened them after one moment. «But I’m crushing you! Wait, I find a better position.»  
The girl was about to move away, but Bahorel blocked her. «No, stay. You’re cushier this way.»  
Lise hesitated, then smiled and curled up better on her boyfriend’s chest.  
«Lise?»  
«Mh?»  
«What do you think about buying a fan?»

* Ikea is a famous European estate agency where people buy pieces of furniture and build them by themselves, in some kind of do-it-yourself activity.  
** Swedish for no.

**Author's Note:**

> Soo I originally wrote this story in italian for a friend (Ribes), but then she decided she wanted to translate it, so here we are! Hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed writing and translating it!


End file.
